1. |
If I Knew
04:24
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when we lit up and left how the smoke must have plumed
billowed to the clouds and back white, grey and black while the morning bloomed
How we tell it now depends on who we’re lying to
we ate the fruit, learned the truth, spit the pits in the corner of the room
if I knew
what I know
so far yet to go
you were bouncing off the guardrail shouting at the wind
We were off our meds, drinking again; we played them like a stolen violin
I knew my outlines and my ends, I waited for something to kick in
They could not understand. They were embarrassed by sincerity back then
if I knew
what I know
so far yet to go
In a flash I was wearing every one of your brand new tattoos
I took off my shirt like East Moline and read upside down what you’ve been up to
then a car crashed through the wall and there you were in the room
and the blood-red blood bled out to your outlines and it colored you in
We were close enough to cough on and your breath smelled like crème de menthe
Headstones; dial tones; you said, “Hey fucker, where you been?”
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2. |
Tightrope
03:14
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if I know you’re going
and if I know you’re gone
should I pretend you’re not?
our love is gravity and water
seeping through the roof
and pooling in the garage
waiting out the thaw to patch up all the cracks
ripping out the walls while it’s dripping down your back
there’s a couple ways this works and a thousand ways it can’t
you know I know all about that bag you got packed
I’ve been climbing up every power line if I’m guessing where you’ve been
I haven’t felt your love in the longest time; I just want to see us from above again
tightrope walker strung a wire over the infield of the racetrack
it’s ripe for disaster, the wind’s picking up and gets amplified by all of the gasps
They think you’re gonna fall, and your mother’s taking bets
I want to make love to you underneath the nets
and our oil-slick skin can hold a thousand sunsets
drift away in my version of the summer we got left
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3. |
60 Second Distance Run
03:03
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you got that middle-distant look again; feel the unrelenting minute
or a 60 second distance run— get out while you can get it
There was the weekend of the wedding and I know somewhere there’s videotape
can you feel the river rising for the camera and for the rage
was I the only one?
all the ones I seem to love scan the sky with hawks’ eyes
find something they gotta kill; find something to get startled by
Gonna teach my wings to work again on a 60 second distance run
everyone who holds me close are starting fires that block the sun
was I the only one?
how is it that the busiest streets were usually the quietest space?
and that quiet corner place? it always kept us awake
I’ve been trying every angle; I’ve been searching through the videotape
without a 60 second distance run could anyone have seen the change?
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4. |
Summertime
02:35
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she said
“Why don’t you try summertime songs?”
Gold and warm, soft like the setting sun
not hot and sharp like a hornet swarm or the
warning blast from a tornado horn
or june bugs hissing July in half,
“I love you in the low ebb baby, but let’s dance.”
“I don’t know.”
You didn’t have to stop babe but I could never hang
the good days come in waves: they crest and crash
See I’ve been running hot babe, somethings gonna give
I’ve been sleeping not babe, dreaming about the kid
I’ve been hearing shots babe I know they’re in my head
I’ve been feeling ghosts babe moving in the wind
and if I should disappear sometime before this child is born
well, what is recovery really but cover up your tracks again?
In the neighbor’s window across the street
you can see the tv through the fitted red sheet
and the other night I heard them screaming
I turned off our lights and called the police
and hid on the corner of the front porch waiting
and, as quiet as a gas leak, I slowed my breathing
singing summertime songs
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