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If I Knew

from How We Tell It Now by Field Report

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lyrics

when we lit up and left how the smoke must have plumed
billowed to the clouds and back white, grey and black while the morning bloomed
How we tell it now depends on who we’re lying to
we ate the fruit, learned the truth, spit the pits in the corner of the room

if I knew
what I know
so far yet to go

you were bouncing off the guardrail shouting at the wind
We were off our meds, drinking again; we played them like a stolen violin
I knew my outlines and my ends, I waited for something to kick in
They could not understand. They were embarrassed by sincerity back then

if I knew
what I know
so far yet to go

In a flash I was wearing every one of your brand new tattoos
I took off my shirt like East Moline and read upside down what you’ve been up to
then a car crashed through the wall and there you were in the room
and the blood-red blood bled out to your outlines and it colored you in
We were close enough to cough on and your breath smelled like crème de menthe
Headstones; dial tones; you said, “Hey fucker, where you been?”

credits

from How We Tell It Now, released November 22, 2019

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Field Report Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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